“All the great lovers who ever existed on this earth are famous only for their ‘love’, but no famous person is known for his or her love.”
This is really an interesting fact that no great personality, who is famous for anything he/she have done, is not known for his/her love. And all the great lovers are known distinctively for their love. Possibly, love never happens to the people who grow great. Or in other words, they never find time for it. Another possibility is that one who enters in the world of love, never bothers about rest of the world and never do anything unusual except ‘The Love’.
There are still other possibilities remaining that can be considered.
1. I am writing this to prove myself a great person.
2. I am frustrated and trying to prove the ‘grapes of love’ sour.
3. I am sane and writing all this on my rational observation. But the world never let grow lovers and doesn't let them become famous (though they become famous for their struggle for love), and to suppress love it never highlights ‘love-story’ of great people.
Whatever the case may be, it is really an interesting question to think upon.
Love is definitely a guardian, who guides a person to the highest realms of joy, happiness and pleasure. But at the same time it appears as an enemy for the world, as it doesn’t allow one to be great (as defined by the world).
I am not favoring love, nor am I against it. But there is certainly something wrong with this ‘world’ and ‘love’.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Longing----->>> For ‘Nothing’
Whenever I close my eyes, I find myself incomplete. Like I am not what could be called a ‘destination’. Like, I am always following something. Without which, I am not complete. I try my best, but still not able to understand that void. Possibly that void is what I call my aim. The motive force, which is leading my life. It will be great if it is so. But, what after I will achieve my aim? Shall I be complete that day? I guess no! Possibility is, a new target will be set to chase. And the condition is going to remain the same. The void!
Until today, I have been incapable of filling that void. Not even a bit. The size is the same as it was when I was studying in class fifth and always dreamed of scoring highest marks in the class. Fortunately, I got and for a while, the void seemed filled. As soon as the classes of next session started, the void emerged again and of the same size. And I was again there, just with a first position (fifth standard) in my pocket. It was the case every year, until I joined the college and until today. Every year and moment, different things were targeted, but no improvement! I wonder if I will be able to fulfill that gap in my life or not.
Is this a search for a person, whom I can be closest? One of the possibilities. But, again, I have seen many people, who are well settled in this manner. And carry the same void.
This seems like a longing for something, which is going to fulfill the gap and complete my being. However, that something is ‘unknown’ to me. The positive side of all this story is: I always have some reason to live, let it be 'unknown'. Someday, I do not know when, I am going to fill this void.
Until today, I have been incapable of filling that void. Not even a bit. The size is the same as it was when I was studying in class fifth and always dreamed of scoring highest marks in the class. Fortunately, I got and for a while, the void seemed filled. As soon as the classes of next session started, the void emerged again and of the same size. And I was again there, just with a first position (fifth standard) in my pocket. It was the case every year, until I joined the college and until today. Every year and moment, different things were targeted, but no improvement! I wonder if I will be able to fulfill that gap in my life or not.
Is this a search for a person, whom I can be closest? One of the possibilities. But, again, I have seen many people, who are well settled in this manner. And carry the same void.
This seems like a longing for something, which is going to fulfill the gap and complete my being. However, that something is ‘unknown’ to me. The positive side of all this story is: I always have some reason to live, let it be 'unknown'. Someday, I do not know when, I am going to fill this void.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Are we ‘Free’?
College X, year Y: A student of freshman year slapped by a workshop instructor for unknown reason. After the diffusion of this news among all the students (from first to final year), they rushed up and burned the vehicles around, beat almost everything in their proximity to show their grievance. The action was definitely destructive and disreputable, but they (every student present in college) stood united and showed mental strength and physical presence. Following their unlawful act, they had to face the consequences, especially those in final years. Their degrees were delayed for few months and campus recruitment was also affected.
College X, Year Y: After settling the above business, a student from the second year was accused of being involved in ragging and was expelled from the college for one semester. The decision put a hold on ragging and thereafter no one dared to rag a junior. Gradually, things changed and today an interesting phenomenon of 'negative ragging' has started developing.
College X, Year Y+2: Same students, who were involved in the above-mentioned agitation and two new batches united to show their respect for the then Head of Institution, and talked to the authorities in an attempt to extend his tenure. This time same students stood united for a constructive reason.
College X, Year Y+5: A quarrel between first year students turned into a student teacher clash and a student (probably the culprit) was beat so badly that he was admitted in regional hospital immediately. Many such cases of conflicts in students were reported this year.
College X, Year Y+7: Again, a clash between students took place in a private party. After which some of them were put into police custody. Somehow, college authority came to know about this, and has again expelled some of whom involved in the clash along with few others who tried to help their friends (probably they were just being with their friends in the moment) in police custody, being accused of going against authority of college. Considering this incident a whack on the face (career) of these students, they still stand united (possibly). However, they feel helpless and are not able to do anything except sitting and blaming authority for spoiling few innocent careers.
Last time a student was expelled to take control over ragging, in which the authority succeeded. This time, what it want is a little difficult to understand, especially before the effects are visible. It is for sure that authorities can never plan to spoil its civic. However, in this case it seems that the authorities govern everyone, and the concept of freedom fades. Integrating above facts it is very clear that how the authority has changed the basic behavior of the pupils. The attribute of standing united and protesting for their rights is washed away. We have the freedom of thoughts and expression, but we are now unable to think and express (thanks to the policies). Most probably, it is done because this is what the economy and society of our free country requires. But what about our freedom! Freedom of Youth! Freedom of Thoughts! Freedom of Expression! It seems that we are still dependent and slave of a few people amongst us only.
College X, Year Y: After settling the above business, a student from the second year was accused of being involved in ragging and was expelled from the college for one semester. The decision put a hold on ragging and thereafter no one dared to rag a junior. Gradually, things changed and today an interesting phenomenon of 'negative ragging' has started developing.
College X, Year Y+2: Same students, who were involved in the above-mentioned agitation and two new batches united to show their respect for the then Head of Institution, and talked to the authorities in an attempt to extend his tenure. This time same students stood united for a constructive reason.
College X, Year Y+5: A quarrel between first year students turned into a student teacher clash and a student (probably the culprit) was beat so badly that he was admitted in regional hospital immediately. Many such cases of conflicts in students were reported this year.
College X, Year Y+7: Again, a clash between students took place in a private party. After which some of them were put into police custody. Somehow, college authority came to know about this, and has again expelled some of whom involved in the clash along with few others who tried to help their friends (probably they were just being with their friends in the moment) in police custody, being accused of going against authority of college. Considering this incident a whack on the face (career) of these students, they still stand united (possibly). However, they feel helpless and are not able to do anything except sitting and blaming authority for spoiling few innocent careers.
Last time a student was expelled to take control over ragging, in which the authority succeeded. This time, what it want is a little difficult to understand, especially before the effects are visible. It is for sure that authorities can never plan to spoil its civic. However, in this case it seems that the authorities govern everyone, and the concept of freedom fades. Integrating above facts it is very clear that how the authority has changed the basic behavior of the pupils. The attribute of standing united and protesting for their rights is washed away. We have the freedom of thoughts and expression, but we are now unable to think and express (thanks to the policies). Most probably, it is done because this is what the economy and society of our free country requires. But what about our freedom! Freedom of Youth! Freedom of Thoughts! Freedom of Expression! It seems that we are still dependent and slave of a few people amongst us only.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thanks to ‘Orkut’!
I remember very clearly the days full of rain. And, we used to cover ourselves under the gigantic leaves of a small plant (I don’t remember the name), in spite of umbrella, while returning home from school (K.V. No. 2 Binnaguri Cantt.), whose water generally used to stain our uniforms permanently (We didn’t know to fear anyone that time).
Days when we used to play football, on the direction of our Physical trainer, irrespective of our will. In an hour of sports, throughout the academically busy weekly schedule of our school timetable, we always wished to play cricket. But our Physical trainer and sports coordinator always said “Ye bhi koi mausam hai cricket khelne ka, ye lo football aur khelo”. Having football in my hands (as I was the class monitor), I always used to forget that we wanted to play cricket and not football. And crazily, ran to the enormous and water-filled playground that our school possessed, and entering the nearest vacant football field (there were three football fields). Once we were in the field, ball was always taken over by our Tribal mates (taking advantage of their height and strong built ). Frustrated by just running within the field and hardly getting chance to touch the ball, we (some of the shorter mates) used to exit the game and play our own game with our own small ping-pong ball, which we had enough remained with us (thanks to our science project: crystal structure of diamond and graphite ).
Today, I met one of my friends of those days. He reminded me of the letters we often used to communicate after his father was transferred to another place (Northern Command Udhampur). Ha ha… we used letters….. as there were no phones, no mobiles, and no emails/computers/emails (possibly these were not affordable at that time) and we used to communicate through letters only. I hardly remember his face, and he told me that he was also not in a condition to recognize me even after looking my photos my Orkut album; though, we used to pass more than twelve hours a day together, in school, in field after school, cycling, and watching WWF together (and many more, I can hardly recall all those).
It is second time that Orkut connected me with a close, unforgettable and lost friend of mine. Thanks to Orkut! I am really grateful to Orkut, and Google for enhancing the features which makes it easy to search people and contact them.
Days when we used to play football, on the direction of our Physical trainer, irrespective of our will. In an hour of sports, throughout the academically busy weekly schedule of our school timetable, we always wished to play cricket. But our Physical trainer and sports coordinator always said “Ye bhi koi mausam hai cricket khelne ka, ye lo football aur khelo”. Having football in my hands (as I was the class monitor), I always used to forget that we wanted to play cricket and not football. And crazily, ran to the enormous and water-filled playground that our school possessed, and entering the nearest vacant football field (there were three football fields). Once we were in the field, ball was always taken over by our Tribal mates (taking advantage of their height and strong built ). Frustrated by just running within the field and hardly getting chance to touch the ball, we (some of the shorter mates) used to exit the game and play our own game with our own small ping-pong ball, which we had enough remained with us (thanks to our science project: crystal structure of diamond and graphite ).
Today, I met one of my friends of those days. He reminded me of the letters we often used to communicate after his father was transferred to another place (Northern Command Udhampur). Ha ha… we used letters….. as there were no phones, no mobiles, and no emails/computers/emails (possibly these were not affordable at that time) and we used to communicate through letters only. I hardly remember his face, and he told me that he was also not in a condition to recognize me even after looking my photos my Orkut album; though, we used to pass more than twelve hours a day together, in school, in field after school, cycling, and watching WWF together (and many more, I can hardly recall all those).
It is second time that Orkut connected me with a close, unforgettable and lost friend of mine. Thanks to Orkut! I am really grateful to Orkut, and Google for enhancing the features which makes it easy to search people and contact them.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Why only ‘Fear’?
Last night around one in the morning, I was alone at my place, when I was reading about ‘Ghost hunting’. I came to know about various concepts that ghost hunters use for investigation. It was quite learning and interesting as well.
However, I felt something more interesting in the whole scene.
While reading, I came to know about cold spots and Electromagnetic Fields that ghost hunters detect with their equipments to locate points of high paranormal activities. Although I did not have any of the equipments but I felt cold spots around me. Every single point in the space seemed to me the center of paranormal activities. And suddenly a pulse that sounded like fear initiated somewhere inside me and reached that every point, and again travelled back to its origin. When the pulse stroked me back, I felt the fear at its peak that gradually settled down. After that, no such pulses arose, but the fear that was initiated, remained until I found myself aware in the next morning again.
First thing: from where the wave started, and why?
We are brought up like that only. Our family and the people around us have always talked about ghosts and such paranormal activities that they have heard. That, every talk has embedded a seed of fear inside us, which I found as the origin of that pulse. Moreover, whenever we find any similar situation in present that we have ‘heard’, it is quite normal to recall all those things and the seed activates giving rise to such pulses.
This might be the possible answer.
Second thing: why the fear has become an integral part of our life?
We often come across situations, where we find similarities with our experience or past learning (might be a story only). Every experience implants a seed inside us that activates every time it is insisted. We have common experience with fear in so many forms that almost every situation activates the seed and we ‘fear’.
This might be the possible answer for above question.
Third thing: why only the fear has been an integral part of our life, why not courage, or honesty, or calmness, or peace, or happiness, or whatever we consider ‘good’ for us?
Probably everything can be answered by logic. But, this time I do not want answer, but a question within the readers’ ‘being’ that why only fear?
However, I felt something more interesting in the whole scene.
While reading, I came to know about cold spots and Electromagnetic Fields that ghost hunters detect with their equipments to locate points of high paranormal activities. Although I did not have any of the equipments but I felt cold spots around me. Every single point in the space seemed to me the center of paranormal activities. And suddenly a pulse that sounded like fear initiated somewhere inside me and reached that every point, and again travelled back to its origin. When the pulse stroked me back, I felt the fear at its peak that gradually settled down. After that, no such pulses arose, but the fear that was initiated, remained until I found myself aware in the next morning again.
First thing: from where the wave started, and why?
We are brought up like that only. Our family and the people around us have always talked about ghosts and such paranormal activities that they have heard. That, every talk has embedded a seed of fear inside us, which I found as the origin of that pulse. Moreover, whenever we find any similar situation in present that we have ‘heard’, it is quite normal to recall all those things and the seed activates giving rise to such pulses.
This might be the possible answer.
Second thing: why the fear has become an integral part of our life?
We often come across situations, where we find similarities with our experience or past learning (might be a story only). Every experience implants a seed inside us that activates every time it is insisted. We have common experience with fear in so many forms that almost every situation activates the seed and we ‘fear’.
This might be the possible answer for above question.
Third thing: why only the fear has been an integral part of our life, why not courage, or honesty, or calmness, or peace, or happiness, or whatever we consider ‘good’ for us?
Probably everything can be answered by logic. But, this time I do not want answer, but a question within the readers’ ‘being’ that why only fear?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
'Performance' Vs 'Self'
As I go deep inside me, I find myself oscillating around a mean position. Although I don’t know exactly where the mean position lye, but I am able to watch myself moving between two extreme positions. Between these two extreme positions, there are a number of situations where I behave differently. And my behavior at any instant depends directly or indirectly on the people around me and my motive for being in that situation. However, deep in the core I am the same irrespective of the situation and my behavior. If my observation is truthful, then the questions arise that: why the behavior is so important in the first place? Why do I try to perform well always to improve my behavior in the next place so that everyone around me, find me the way I want them to? If behavior is so superficial, why is it important to perform in every situation I face and not being what I really am?
Is it so because I am afraid of being rejected by others? Or am I not able to face what others really think about me? Or I simply do not want to let anyone perceive myself the way I do not want? Or am I grown too much insensitive towards my own self? Or was I never that sensitive for my own ‘self’?
I have started this blog to create a channel for myself to reflect truly what I am and not what I am expected to be. Hopefully, this will help me to keep myself as close to my mean position as possible.
Is it so because I am afraid of being rejected by others? Or am I not able to face what others really think about me? Or I simply do not want to let anyone perceive myself the way I do not want? Or am I grown too much insensitive towards my own self? Or was I never that sensitive for my own ‘self’?
I have started this blog to create a channel for myself to reflect truly what I am and not what I am expected to be. Hopefully, this will help me to keep myself as close to my mean position as possible.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)