A Hindu Marriage

Recently I attended a marriage of one of the close friends of mine. Apart from enjoying the marriage like any others I have attended earlier, this was one of the learning experiences for me. So, I decided to share it. Among all the procedures, I am going to discuss only those, which I observed and was able to understand.


I will start from the setup called ‘mundop’. Just before entering the mundop the bridegroom was forced to take a bath in front of hundreds of people. That can be embarrassing for anyone, but he has no other choice. Possibly, it is necessary to purify the body, mind and soul before entering into a deal that is going to change his life completely. However, no one can guarantee the purification of mind and soul, the bath at least confirms that the body is neat. Soon he was at the hot seat, and at his side was obviously the bride.


No!! it was her father. Of course, a person must talk and deal with the father of a girl first if he wants to take her (exactly she has to be taken with, as if she cannot move along) with him. That is a matter of values. Whatever! These two businesspersons were accompanied by their personalized pundits (I found all this business, so the involved persons seem businesspersons to me). It was quite logical that when a deal of lifetime is going on, there must be a guru type person (who understands everything) present at the site with both the parties. Now soon they started chanting mantras (which I could hardly understand), that seem like the terms and conditions of the agreement that is going to happen between them. This went on until the bridegroom accepted all the conditions and signed in form of some ahutis in the holy fire. Without wasting much time, the girl was brought with all respect and was made to sit alongside the businessman no. 1 (bridegroom).


Now this was the preparation of one of the ugliest business that is done on this earth. It is called ‘kanyadan’. Or in formal definition, the handing over the charge of the girl to the bridegroom. (This ritual is not only followed by Hindus, but it is in Christianity also, a Christian having a daughter, living in ultramodern New York or London also performs the same; I don’t know about other religions but there must be some similar act). Whatsoever! The interesting thing in kanyadan was both bride and bridegroom were asked to place their hands on each other’s with a bowl containing grains. This bowl was connected through a thread to the plate kept at other end, where the second party (parents of the bride) was sitting. The parents then started watering that plate with another bowl full of water (accompanied by a currency bill of INR 100) in their hands (Possibly the provision of currency bill was amended later by the pundits currently in power as it always goes into the pocket of concerned pundit). As if, they were watering the new world of the couple. As if, they were assuring their well-being.


After the handing over of the commodity (harsh but true), the focus was on the couple. They were asked to revolve around the holy fire and pledge for each other. One of the pundit started reciting the statements that has to be followed by both of them. These pledges were also a little embarrassing for me, as they were not balanced. Again, they treated the bride as commodity (if not commodity they treated her at a lower place than the bridegroom for sure).


I found the culture/ritual/procedure of marriage beautiful and fascinating that almost everyone does. However, there were many things to understand.

Why it was imbalanced? Why there was ‘kanyadan’ not ‘vardan’?  that might prove good for the couple.

What is the need of these rituals at the first place? Especially when nobody understands that what is going and why. (Possibly not even the pundits know, if they know what, they must not know why).


If we try to go back to the days, when these procedures were being written by the then pundits. They designed the system so well that no one dare to suspect. And time to time amendments were done as per their requirements only (I can’t believe that everything was same at that time). They could have amended the procedure of kanyadan as ‘ladka=ladki’ today. But they were not concerned about this. Their concern has always been people’s ignorance, so that they can introduce as many currency bills as possible in the system. These procedures are long followed by people and are still following possibly with higher enthusiasm than ever.


I find nothing wrong in this system but the problem is people are following unknowingly and are following everything. Some of which are not updated by our pundits and are out of date.


I wanted to write more but due to lack of time, I cannot continue right now. I’ll be more than happy to discuss things over it.

Life of a ‘Butterfly’

Butterfly is one of the beautiful creatures on this planet. Its presence never disturbs or challenges others’ existence as it feeds on leaves and flowers of huge (as compared to its own size) plants or trees. Rather, they are beautiful, helps pollination of plants they feed upon and sometimes end as the food of merciless predators. We have many things to know and learn from the small and attractive creature called ‘Butterfly’.

The life of a butterfly is divided into four stages, namely egg, larvae or caterpillar, pupa and adult butterfly. Throughout its life, it is only the adult stage when we come to notice its existence. However, it takes a long time for a butterfly to become an adult butterfly taking small and eye-catching flights from one flower to other.

Starting from the egg laid by its mother fly, which is well equipped with nutrition it requires to grow and enter the next stage of larvae, it silently grows and emerges as larvae. Once a larva is formed, it starts eating and eating lots of leaves to grow as what we call a caterpillar, without disturbing others. As soon as it is satisfied with the collection of food it has done during the stage it wanders for a peaceful place, hiding from its predators and starts resting. The larva weaves a dense net around itself, which appears like a nut called ‘cocoon’. It is the pupa stage of the life of butterfly, when it rests in love and peace and utilizes only its own store of food. During this stage, it segregates itself from rest of the world and rearranges the nutrition available with it to develop the most vital organs including the tiny wings. Although it now has all the components required to be a butterfly, everything is still covered into the small net of its own. Now, it has to overcome the walls that are created by it. Only after that, it will be ready to FLY.

I am thankful to GO D that it has so perfectly created the butterfly that a pupa never requires anything or anyone to motivate it to smash the walls and exit the self-created web to have a flight in the beautiful world and to add to its beauty.

Road trip to ‘Chamba’

After a long planning to go ‘Dharamsala’ this weekend to witness two IPL matches, the plan was screwed by a small system error while making the payment for tickets through ICICI gateway. After a long period, fortunately, IPL management returned the amount deducted honestly. With our screwed up plan, we (me and Tarun) decided to visit Chamba. And we started our journey early in the morning Yesterday. After a ride of six hours through one of the most dangerous roads I have ever seen, we reached the dreamland called ‘Chamba’. The first thing we did there was sleeping. We slept like dogs (though dogs never sleep like that) all the day.

The morning (today morning) was windy and pleasant with some clouds hovering around the hills. Despite the weather, we enjoyed a bath on one of the silent and shallow banks of Ravi for about an hour and again started our journey back with two of our friends (Sandy and Baikunth). But this time via a different route. We went to the famous Khajjiar Lake. Fortunately, we were able to view the great Kailash Range from a view-point, even with the cloudy sky. The beauty of the place is beyond words, so I will not try to use dead words from my dictionary to describe it. Only thing I must say about it is “Shimle ni basna, Kasauli ni basna; Chambe jana Zaroooooooooor”.

The place and surroundings were so tranquilizing that we forgot about the journey we had ahead of us and ignored the weather, which was now turning into rain. As the drops started showering, it reminded me of our state of affairs. We had no jackets, no sweatshirts, no woolen clothes and no time to stay there either. Therefore, we had to come back so we said bye to Sandy and baikunth and started the ride. The road went through the wild life sanctuary, so there was no shelter where we could wait for the rain to stop and keep ourselves dry in the cold weather. After a few minutes of heavy rain, it became chilling cold. I felt the numbness in my hands and feet. I wished that if we could find a fireplace there in Lakkadmandi, which was about fifteen kilometers away. For our fortune, just a few hundred meters behind Lakkadmandi I saw some PWD workers sitting around a fire. I smiled and pulled the disk brake with my shivering hands. Thanks to Himachal Government, for paying these people for clearing roads and helping people like us. We dried our wet clothes and charged ourselves up for the long journey ahead. After smoking a cigarette, I got back to the bike and we started again; by then the rain was also stopped.

Lakkadmandi was the topmost point our journey (about 2500mts above sea level). As we crossed the place, a down slope of about eighty kilometers followed. The route went through beautiful Dalhousie. It is worth mentioning that it is a point that showcases the bird eye view of the enormous Ranjit Sagar Lake.

Though we did not have the time to stay there, we enjoyed the views from roads only. I am now thankful to the system error that ruined our plan to watch IPL and made a platform for this road trip. The trip went adventurous and happening with so many good and bad things, I am not able to mention all of those. However, the worst part of it was that we did not have camera. The second worst thing is its aftermath (our paining butts).

‘Love’: A Guardian or an enemy?

“All the great lovers who ever existed on this earth are famous only for their ‘love’, but no famous person is known for his or her love.”

This is really an interesting fact that no great personality, who is famous for anything he/she have done, is not known for his/her love. And all the great lovers are known distinctively for their love. Possibly, love never happens to the people who grow great. Or in other words, they never find time for it. Another possibility is that one who enters in the world of love, never bothers about rest of the world and never do anything unusual except ‘The Love’.

There are still other possibilities remaining that can be considered.
1. I am writing this to prove myself a great person. 
2. I am frustrated and trying to prove the ‘grapes of love’ sour. 
3. I am sane and writing all this on my rational observation. But the world never let grow lovers and doesn't let them become famous (though they become famous for their struggle for love), and to suppress love it never highlights ‘love-story’ of great people.

Whatever the case may be, it is really an interesting question to think upon.
Love is definitely a guardian, who guides a person to the highest realms of joy, happiness and pleasure. But at the same time it appears as an enemy for the world, as it doesn’t allow one to be great (as defined by the world).

I am not favoring love, nor am I against it. But there is certainly something wrong with this ‘world’ and ‘love’.

Longing----->>> For ‘Nothing’

Whenever I close my eyes, I find myself incomplete. Like I am not what could be called a ‘destination’. Like, I am always following something. Without which, I am not complete. I try my best, but still not able to understand that void. Possibly that void is what I call my aim. The motive force, which is leading my life. It will be great if it is so. But, what after I will achieve my aim? Shall I be complete that day? I guess no! Possibility is, a new target will be set to chase. And the condition is going to remain the same. The void!

Until today, I have been incapable of filling that void. Not even a bit. The size is the same as it was when I was studying in class fifth and always dreamed of scoring highest marks in the class. Fortunately, I got and for a while, the void seemed filled. As soon as the classes of next session started, the void emerged again and of the same size. And I was again there, just with a first position (fifth standard) in my pocket. It was the case every year, until I joined the college and until today. Every year and moment, different things were targeted, but no improvement! I wonder if I will be able to fulfill that gap in my life or not.

Is this a search for a person, whom I can be closest? One of the possibilities. But, again, I have seen many people, who are well settled in this manner. And carry the same void.

This seems like a longing for something, which is going to fulfill the gap and complete my being. However, that something is ‘unknown’ to me. The positive side of all this story is: I always have some reason to live, let it be 'unknown'. Someday, I do not know when, I am going to fill this void.

Are we ‘Free’?

College X, year Y: A student of freshman year slapped by a workshop instructor for unknown reason. After the diffusion of this news among all the students (from first to final year), they rushed up and burned the vehicles around, beat almost everything in their proximity to show their grievance. The action was definitely destructive and disreputable, but they (every student present in college) stood united and showed mental strength and physical presence. Following their unlawful act, they had to face the consequences, especially those in final years. Their degrees were delayed for few months and campus recruitment was also affected.
College X, Year Y: After settling the above business, a student from the second year was accused of being involved in ragging and was expelled from the college for one semester. The decision put a hold on ragging and thereafter no one dared to rag a junior. Gradually, things changed and today an interesting phenomenon of 'negative ragging' has started developing.
College X, Year Y+2: Same students, who were involved in the above-mentioned agitation and two new batches united to show their respect for the then Head of Institution, and talked to the authorities in an attempt to extend his tenure. This time same students stood united for a constructive reason.
College X, Year Y+5: A quarrel between first year students turned into a student teacher clash and a student (probably the culprit) was beat so badly that he was admitted in regional hospital immediately. Many such cases of conflicts in students were reported this year.
College X, Year Y+7: Again, a clash between students took place in a private party. After which some of them were put into police custody. Somehow, college authority came to know about this, and has again expelled some of whom involved in the clash along with few others who tried to help their friends (probably they were just being with their friends in the moment) in police custody, being accused of going against authority of college. Considering this incident a whack on the face (career) of these students, they still stand united (possibly). However, they feel helpless and are not able to do anything except sitting and blaming authority for spoiling few innocent careers.
Last time a student was expelled to take control over ragging, in which the authority succeeded. This time, what it want is a little difficult to understand, especially before the effects are visible. It is for sure that authorities can never plan to spoil its civic. However, in this case it seems that the authorities govern everyone, and the concept of freedom fades. Integrating above facts it is very clear that how the authority has changed the basic behavior of the pupils. The attribute of standing united and protesting for their rights is washed away. We have the freedom of thoughts and expression, but we are now unable to think and express (thanks to the policies). Most probably, it is done because this is what the economy and society of our free country requires. But what about our freedom! Freedom of Youth! Freedom of Thoughts! Freedom of Expression! It seems that we are still dependent and slave of a few people amongst us only.

Thanks to ‘Orkut’!

I remember very clearly the days full of rain. And, we used to cover ourselves under the gigantic leaves of a small plant (I don’t remember the name), in spite of umbrella, while returning home from school (K.V. No. 2 Binnaguri Cantt.), whose water generally used to stain our uniforms permanently (We didn’t know to fear anyone that time).

Days when we used to play football, on the direction of our Physical trainer, irrespective of our will. In an hour of sports, throughout the academically busy weekly schedule of our school timetable, we always wished to play cricket. But our Physical trainer and sports coordinator always said “Ye bhi koi mausam hai cricket khelne ka, ye lo football aur khelo”. Having football in my hands (as I was the class monitor), I always used to forget that we wanted to play cricket and not football. And crazily, ran to the enormous and water-filled playground that our school possessed, and entering the nearest vacant football field (there were three football fields). Once we were in the field, ball was always taken over by our Tribal mates (taking advantage of their height and strong built ). Frustrated by just running within the field and hardly getting chance to touch the ball, we (some of the shorter mates) used to exit the game and play our own game with our own small ping-pong ball, which we had enough remained with us (thanks to our science project: crystal structure of diamond and graphite ).

Today, I met one of my friends of those days. He reminded me of the letters we often used to communicate after his father was transferred to another place (Northern Command Udhampur). Ha ha… we used letters….. as there were no phones, no mobiles, and no emails/computers/emails (possibly these were not affordable at that time) and we used to communicate through letters only. I hardly remember his face, and he told me that he was also not in a condition to recognize me even after looking my photos my Orkut album; though, we used to pass more than twelve hours a day together, in school, in field after school, cycling, and watching WWF together (and many more, I can hardly recall all those).

It is second time that Orkut connected me with a close, unforgettable and lost friend of mine. Thanks to Orkut! I am really grateful to Orkut, and Google for enhancing the features which makes it easy to search people and contact them.